The Gold Star example

An excellent example of how Trump’s psychopathy explains everything he does (we would say the best example, but there are just so many and besides, superlatives are more his style than ours, anyway) is how Trump treated Khizr and Ghazala Khan (in case you spent the summer living under a rock, these are the Gold Star parents Trump attacked, primarily over Twitter, after they spoke at the Democratic National Convention).

It made no sense.  Why go after them?  What could be gained?  It was obviously so self-defeating.

Sure, it was consistent with his anti-muslim rhetoric and bigot-baiting campaign.  But these two?  The son they lost, Humayun Khan, was an Army captain who died in Iraq.  Surely, going after them was pushing that stuff too far, right?  And in fact it was.  From Time magazine, citing an ABC News/Washington Post poll from early August, 2016:

Trump's public back-and-forth with Khizr and Ghazala Khan after their critical speech at the DNC have turned off voters of both party persuasions, the poll found. Seventy-three percent said they disapproved of the way he had conducted himself with the family, including 59% of Republicans.

And Trump’s attack wasn’t a one-off.  Like the battery bunny, it just kept going.  And going.  And going.  Even after it was clearly self-defeating.

Why?  

Answer:  Because Mr. Khan attacked him (ego) and because he was incapable of understanding anyone else’s point of view, he had no idea how poorly it would be received (empathy).

And indeed, Mr. Khan’s remarks were inherently personal.  His closing words at the convention:

"You have sacrificed nothing, and no one.”  

Trump probably felt that barb particularly, as it is spot-on. Trump never served in the military and it appears he dodged service through four college deferments and ultimately a questionable-at-best claim of “bone spurs.” 
Nor did his father serve, despite making a presumptive fortune building and managing housing for US Navy personnel.  

Two days later, in his first public comments on the matter, Trump came out swinging:

“If you look at his wife, she was standing there.”  “She had nothing to say. She probably, maybe she wasn't allowed to have anything to say.”

In that same interview, he was also defensive about the closing comment referenced above:  

"I think I've made a lot of sacrifices. I work very, very hard.” Trump said.

That statement is telling.  Because of his psychopathy, because he has 0% empathy and 100% ego, Trump is incapable of understanding the difference of sacrificing for others and working hard for oneself.

Trump caught flack from Gold Star families, Republicans, the media, pretty much everyone.  But instead of apologizing or even qualifying his statements, instead of doing something actually strategic, he continued to lash out.  Why?  Because his ego had been bruised.

Trump's continuing remarks evidenced this.  He tweeted that he had been “viciously attacked by Mr. Khan at the Democratic Convention.”  This notion – as well as the proof this was all about Trump’s ego and nothing else – was repeated:

“Mr. Khan, who does not know me, viciously attacked me from the stage of the DNC and is now all over T.V. doing the same - Nice!"

And so on, and so on, and so on . . .

Again, all ego, no empathy.

So this is a great example because it shows us how Trump’s lack of empathy (really the hallmark of psychopathy) does not just extend to him not feeling bad about being a bully.  It wasn’t just that he lacked empathy for the Khans.  It was that he simply had no ability to gauge (nor did it even occur to him to consider) how his comments might be received by the public.  To do that – to be strategic in a public debate – one must be able to see things from another person’s point of view.  But Trump is a psychopath.  He is literally incapable of doing that.  

It’s a given that Trump doesn’t care about anyone other than himself.  What his tête-à-tête with the Khans teaches us is that he doesn’t have the wherewithal to even consider the views of anyone other than himself.